I think it has come time to abandon the hope of actually catching up to the correct day on my picture of the day posts. I never seem to be able to get back to the present day. I think I will continue to take a picture a day, except now, I will post only those that are striking to me or epitomize a story or moment I would like to capture.
Here are some of those kinds of moments
Date Taken: 7/16/12
Setting: The Cup
Thoughts: For some reason, I have developed a bit of a possibly annoying habit when I go to ice cream shops. When I order a chocolaty flavor, I often ask the worker to dig into a specific section of the ice cream tub to scoop me the best possible scoop with all the best goodies in it. I also like to ask for sprinkles (crunchy is my favorite food after all) and when they ask me what kind I want, I always say, surprise me. In my head, I like to think that it adds a modicum of entertainment to their otherwise dull existences as ice cream caddies.
Britt, Court, and I went to The Cup and stumbled across a worker that was Britt's friend. I did my usual routine, and when I asked him to surprise me, he really did...
It. Was. Awesome. Date Taken: 7/17/12
Setting: Summerbridge
Thoughts: Jarred had to go to a training session and had texted me to ask me to keep him updated throughout the day. Here...is the remainder of that conversation... Date Taken: 7/18/12
Setting: Summerbridge
Thoughts: Just some beautiful flowers. The red ones took on this ethereal quality and they seemed to form into a heart shape that I found stunning.
Date Taken: 7/5/12
Setting: Summerbridge
Thoughts:
1. I love when the kids doodle on their papers. It just makes me laugh.
2. I love looking at the center of flowers. The center always has the most interesting texture and color. The patterns are delicate and precise, saturated and random. I just like to see the variety.
Date Taken: 7/3/12
Setting: Summerbridge
Thoughts: One of our students made this to hang in her core team's classroom. I love it. it is so fun and it just makes me want to smile. We had Olympics yesterday (more to come on this day) and I was reminded that these students, while dealing with so many real life adult problems, are still kids. They love to run around and act silly. They still want to paint funny pictures and bring them in to hang in class. They still want to bake cupcakes on their birthday and knight each other with a spirit stick made out of a plastic bat, cray paper ribbons and Christmas bells when someone gets student of the week.
What I love most about working with middle school students is that, for the most part, they are still so unfiltered. They will blurt out exactly what they are thinking exactly when they think it. There is a simpleness to that childlike state, an honesty that gets taken from them as they get older. What amazes me is that these kids can still smile and laugh and be their silly selves after what so many of them have been through. All the things that I never had to deal with as a suburban white kid living with hard working blue collar but financially stable and loving parents in a community with an excellent public school system...these kids deal with. Even on the tough days...especially on the tough days, the days when I am the most exhausted and stretched to my limits, they can make me laugh.
I was walking to my car one afternoon from the Trem and noticed these flowers. I have passed them on many occasions, but really noticed them for the first time today. At first glance, it appears these flowers are dying, lilting in the humid summer air. But, as I look closer now, it almost seems like they are pushing off from the ground, reaching out toward the light of the sun. Their petals remind me of an octopus or squid, its jellylike tentacles thrusting downward as it propels itself forward. I also just love the contrast of these soft and supple flowers against the sharp points of the Trem.
Date Taken: 6/13/12
Setting: Summerbridge
Thoughts: At work, there are all kinds of tiles that students crafted. These tiles line the walls throughout the building and generally display images of people or things affiliated with the school. This one stopped me in my tracks...Dean Pelton?
Since Taryn and Mendy were in town, I headed over to Julie's house after work to hang out with my girls. We had just learned about our dear friend Sween accepting the head softball coaching job at Princeton, which is absolutely amazing and wonderful and every kind of superlative. She. is. awesome.
She was coming to spend the night with us, so we headed out to get her a gift. Taryn suggested that we give her a nice potted plant, in fact she specified that it should be some small succulents. As I have made abundantly clear, I am not a flower kind of person. I think they are beautiful, I enjoy taking pictures of them, but I have absolutely no desire to own plants, to garden, or to buy them as gifts for people. But, as we wandered through a beautiful and rather palatial garden center, I learned just how important plant life is. Taryn explained that upon returning home from Afghanistan, she developed a taste for gardening. She particularly loves succulents and the lush green color that comes with them. She explained that for her, gardening was calming, and after being in such a barren landscape for so long, she yearned to see this kind of green, this kind of life. She made me appreciate gardening on a level I never have before. As we wandered through the store, I of course, couldn't help but take pictures of the multicolored and oddly shaped plant specimens inside. This last pic is an image of what we gave to Sween. There was one plant that Taryn told us was the true succulent. We decided to call it Truby and sing a song for him - "Truby, the greatest, plant, the tangible living love plant...bop" So good.
Date Taken: 6/10/12
Setting: Lehigh
Thoughts: Summerbridge started on Monday. The last 3 days have been hectic, very hectic. For the last four summers, every day at Summerbridge has ended with me sitting at my desk and just staring at the wall. If I don't feel this way at the end of a day - totally and utterly exhausted - then I am not doing my job correctly.
The unfortunate byproduct of being so busy though is that I make very little time for myself. When I don't make time for myself, I become infinitely more impatient. When I am impatient, I don't like myself nearly as much as I normally do. I work hard to be helpful to others, to be kind, to do things for others that will make them smile, but when I am impatient, I am thinking far too much about myself to be much good to anyone else.
On these kinds of days, I have to remember to recognize the simple beauty around me - a bird nesting above a light fixture, the sun peeking out behind a cloud, small pink flowers in a beam of sun. These things are simple and intricate, delicate and powerful, a reminder of how blessed I am and how important it is to pay forward those blessings and the kindnesses shown to me.
Date Taken: 6/7/12
Setting: Old City
Thoughts: I love exploring new areas and these days, I find myself looking out for species of flowers I have never seen before. These blue flowers certainly fit the bill. They remind me of winter, of icicles, Dr. Seuss, and something otherworldly. Flowers can transport me into other worlds, other realms, the imagined landscapes of my childhood. Nature constantly surprises and amazes me.
Date Taken: 6/5/12
Setting: Old City
Thoughts: I was wandering around Old City when I chanced upon a beautiful and majestic hawk near Independence Hall. It flew past me and onto a bench about 50 yards away. I crept up as close as I could and snapped a picture, which I later zoomed in on.
Since my mom died, I have felt close to her when I see a hawk. They are so regal, so independent. This particular hawk flew above me, perched on this bench, landed in the trees around me. I watched it for a while, thinking about the beauty of it, the beauty of my mom and the kind of mother she was and is.
As I get older, I find myself contemplating motherhood more and more. I wonder if I will ever be capable of that kind of responsibility. I think about the kinds of sacrifices my own parents made, and know that right now, I can't make that kind of commitment. I am far too selfish to have a child and to be perfectly honest, the thought of having a human being growing inside me freaks me out. I think the human body is truly amazing, yet the thought of mine expanding to include a small human is terrifying.
I can't help but lament the fact that I will never get to talk with my mom about motherhood. I won't get to ask her all the questions I need to ask if the time ever comes when I bring a human being into existence.
When I see a hawk fly overhead, like this hawk did on this particular day, it helps to quell the helplessness that I feel when I think about these kinds of major life decisions and the absence of my mother, my sounding board, my guide. It may not seem like much - the flapping of wings, talons on wood, the swivel of a head - but to me, it is everything.
Date Taken:6/2/12
Setting: Rittenhouse
Thoughts: There was so much purpleto see today. The funny thing about this color is that when I was in elementary and middle school, purple was always associated with being gay....something about a gay purple teletubbi, those creepy animal/alien things that had a kid's show. Being called gay or to be gay was shameful, as it is often considered now. As a 10 year old, I didn't know that I could tell people to go eff themselves or that thinking gay = wrong is ignorant and hurtful. I fell in line like everyone else. I stayed away from the color purple so that I could avoid the ridicule that was sure to come with it.
Although it seems silly now, it was a matter of survival when I was younger. Kids, and come to think of it adults too, do crazy things to fit in. I was no exception. Now, I have found myself appreciating this color in a new way. I am enjoying the deepness of its hues, the lushness of it, the intensity of its different shades. I am reminded that sometimes, I just need to stop and appreciate something as simultaneously small and large, tangible and abstract, insignificant and profound as a color.
I have been focusing so much on nature and flowers in my recent posts that this image struck me as particularly significant. This appears to be a bee...I could be wrong, either way, when I looked down at the sidewalk, I noticed this small creature, its life expended, its death so simple and so final. Although insects of any kind give me the creeps, I can't help but admire the beauty of this tiny body and its precision. Without these creatures, these small buzzing little winged creatures, we would be in big trouble.
Date Taken: 6/1/12
Setting: Suburban Station
Thoughts: Well, it has been a while since I did a picture of the day post. On this day, I was headed out of the city via Suburban Station. There is a special place in my heart for this particular locale, since it was where Brian and I ended our first date and where we had our first kiss. On so many occasions, I would have to get on the train and head back home, wishing that I could stay.
This picture illustrates just how wonderful Brian is and why we are a good fit for one another. Every time I get on the train, he stands on the platform, finds me, and waits to see me off. He could easily leave me to my own devices on the platform or leave as soon as I board the train, but he doesn't. He waits - to make sure I am settled, to catch a last glimpse, to mouth I love yous and take pictures. He cares about me, and he lets me know that he cares in so many different ways every day. And of course, some more flowers. I have never really taken the time to appreciate flowers in the way I have been in the last few months. I didn't realize the variety of flowers that exists in my immediate locale. It is striking to see how the same color can take on new meaning through a different shape, different textures, different settings. I have been enjoying seeing flowers in a new light and being more aware of how they factor into my surroundings.
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